What Survival Mode Really Feels Like

2024: the year I survived

2024 was not my year to thrive. It was my year to survive.

I went through grief, a divorce, parenting struggles, chronic stress. On the outside, I kept functioning. I went to work. I led my team. I showed up for my kids. I even posted the occasional smile on social media.But inside, I was in pure survival mode.

And here’s something no one really tells you.Survival mode is not dramatic. It is not loud.It is quiet. It is subtle. You stop dreaming. You stop planning. You just try to get through the next meeting, the next meal, the next moment.

Looking back, there were a few things that helped me stay afloat.

First, I stopped expecting myself to be “normal.”I lowered the bar. I gave myself permission to do the minimum when I needed to. Frozen pizza for dinner. Slower mornings. Shorter emails. That was not laziness. That was a strategy.

Second, I leaned on small anchors.Music that calmed my nervous system. A daily walk, even if it was short. A notebook I could dump my thoughts into. I could not fix everything, but I could control something. And that gave me tiny moments of power in a season that felt powerless.

Third, I said no.A lot. No to extra projects. No to conversations I could not emotionally handle. No to things that used to feel like obligations. I chose to disappoint others instead of betraying myself.

And last, I got help.I went to therapy. I talked to friends who did not expect me to be cheerful or okay. I leaned on my partner, who held space for both my strength and my collapse. I did not need anyone to fix it. I just needed people who could witness it with me.

Getting through survival mode is not about bouncing back. It is about crawling forward. Slowly. Quietly. Intentionally.

I am not the same person I was before 2024.And maybe that is the point.