What I Wish Neurotypical Leaders Understood

What I Wish Neurotypical Leaders Understood

Here’s what I wish more neurotypical leaders understood: your version of “normal” is not the only one that works.

People like me, autistic, ADHD, highly sensitive, spend so much of our careers bending ourselves into a system built for fast talkers, extroverts, spontaneity, and social ease. We get good at it. But it drains us. And the system rarely bends back.

I wish leaders knew how much energy it takes just to get through your version of “professional.” A whole day of back-to-back meetings without a pause. Vague feedback like “just be more confident.” Acting fine when we are not, because showing overwhelm is still seen as weakness.

Silence does not mean we have nothing to say. Not making eye contact is not disrespect. Fidgeting or stimming is not distraction, it is how some of us focus.

And I wish you knew what we bring to the table. We see patterns others miss. We solve problems differently. We care about getting things right. But we cannot do our best work in environments that demand we mask all day.

We are not asking for special treatment. We are asking for flexibility. Clarity. Psychological safety. The freedom to communicate in the ways that actually work for us, whether that is writing, visuals, or structured conversation.

You do not have to “fix” us. Just listen. Ask instead of assume. Notice that what feels comfortable for you might be what we struggle with every day.

Here is the truth: when you build workplaces that work for neurodivergent people, you build workplaces that are better for everyone. Clear expectations. Space to recharge. Real psychological safety. Those things lift the whole team.

So if you are a neurotypical leader, the best thing you can do is this: stay curious. Stay humble. And lead in a way that does not only center people who think like you.

That is what inclusive leadership looks like. And that is where the future is.