The gap between who you are and who work wants you to be
- Laurence Paquette
- 2 days ago
- 1 min read
We keep talking about “bringing your whole self to work.”
But let’s be honest. That’s not actually what most workplaces want.
They want the polished version. The productive version. The one that can think clearly, move fast, and stay composed in meetings. They don’t want the part of you that didn’t sleep, that’s dealing with grief, that’s overwhelmed, that’s barely holding it together.
So we split ourselves.
We show up with energy and ideas, but we hide the rest. And over time, that gap gets exhausting. Not because we’re weak, but because pretending takes a lot more energy than people admit.
This is where a lot of the conversation around burnout and mental health misses the point. It’s not just about workload. It’s about the constant effort of editing yourself to fit what is considered “professional.”
And the irony is, we say we want authentic leadership, but we still reward performance over honesty.
I’m not saying you should walk into your next meeting and unload everything. That’s not the point.
The point is that we’ve built systems where being human is quietly seen as a liability. And then we act surprised when people burn out, disengage, or start questioning the whole thing.
Maybe the problem isn’t that people can’t handle work.
Maybe it’s that work still can’t handle people.
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