If We Tell Young Professionals to Toughen Up, We Will Lose Them

Building Leadership Cultures Where People Don’t Have to Mask

When I look at Gen Z entering the workplace, I don’t see entitlement or fragility. I see a generation that is far less willing to trade their identity for a title, and honestly, I respect that. I don't think they're obsessed with climbing ladders for the sake of it. They care about meaning, about mental health, and about whether they can show up as themselves without being subtly corrected into something more polished or more “executive.”

The real question is not how we make Gen Z fit into existing leadership models, the real question is whether those models were ever that good to begin with.

Inclusive Leadership Is Not a Buzzword

We often talk about inclusive leadership as if it is a program you can roll out in Q3, something you launch, communicate, and then tick off as DONE ✅. I don't think inclusive leadership is a program. It's the decision to build environments where people don't have to shrink, mask, or overperform just to belong. And if you care about young leaders, especially those who are introverted or neurodivergent, that decision to build such environments matters more than any framework.

Because when inclusion is superficial, here is what tends to happen: people adapt, they observe, they perform, and eventually they burn out.

Inclusive leadership starts with very practical shifts:

• Stop rewarding only the loudest voice in the room.

• Stop confusing confidence with competence.

• Stop designing leadership opportunities that only extroverts can win.

If someone thinks best in writing, let them lead through writing. If someone processes more slowly but more deeply, give them time instead of pressure. If someone dislikes large meetings, create smaller rooms where thinking can actually unfold. None of these are lowering the bar, they are widening the door.

The Masking Problem

One pattern I see repeatedly is young professionals trying to smooth out the parts of themselves that feel like too much or not enough. Too quiet, too intense, too direct, too sensitive. I know that pattern well, and I know how convincing it can be to believe that success requires adjustment at the core.

Masking works in the short term. Careers can progress, feedback can improve, and externally everything can look fine. But the internal cost is high, and over time the gap between the performed self and the actual self becomes exhausting to maintain.

If we want young leaders to thrive, we have to normalize difference instead of subtly correcting it. That means:

• Talking openly about neurodiversity instead of whispering about it.

• Celebrating everyday leadership, not just big charismatic moments.

• Giving feedback that strengthens skills without trying to rewrite personalities.

Leadership has never had one personality type, we simply rewarded one more consistently than others.

What Actually Works

If you are mentoring or managing young leaders, the shifts that matter are rarely dramatic, but they are intentional.

Create peer spaces where people can talk honestly without feeling evaluated. Offer multiple ways to contribute, whether verbal, written, asynchronous, or in smaller groups. Teach emotional intelligence as a core leadership capability rather than a soft extra. Encourage boundary setting early, because the earlier someone learns to say no with clarity, the less likely they're to collapse later. And involve them in real decisions, not token participation but real influence.

Young professionals can offer perceptive and they can tell when inclusion is performative and when it is structural.

Why This Matters Now

This generation is entering workplaces while navigating anxiety, economic pressure, climate fear, geopolitical uncertainty, and constant digital comparison. At the same time, many are more open about mental health and identity than previous generations ever were.

If we respond by telling them to toughen up and simply adapt, we will lose them.

If we respond by building leadership cultures that allow authenticity, we gain loyalty, creativity, and depth.

Inclusive leadership is not about being soft, it's about being accurate. Accurate about how humans actually function, about how performance is sustained over time, and about the fact that diversity of mind drives better outcomes. For introverted or neurodivergent young leaders in particular, that accuracy can mean the difference between merely surviving and actually leading.

The Real Invitation

If you are in a position of influence, the question is simple but uncomfortable: Are you developing young leaders to fit your system, or are you willing to evolve the system with them?

Leadership has never been one size fits all. The difference now is that fewer people are willing to pretend that it is. The next generation is not asking for special treatment, they're are asking for space to be real, and that is not radical. It's overdue. toughen up