Today marks twenty years since I moved abroad, not as a short adventure or a temporary chapter, but with the intention of building a life somewhere other than the country I was born in.

When people talk about living abroad, the focus is often on the practical aspects such as learning a new language, navigating paperwork, or adjusting to cultural differences, but the most significant changes tend to happen quietly, over time, and often without us noticing right away.

You do not just move countries, you change.

I am not the person who lived in Canada twenty years ago, and that is hardly surprising. Most of us evolve considerably between our mid twenties and our mid forties as careers develop, priorities shift, relationships change, and life unfolds in unexpected ways. Growing up abroad, however, adds another layer to that process.

Living in another country means being constantly exposed to different norms, expectations, and ways of doing things, which requires ongoing adaptation, sometimes intentional and sometimes subtle. Over time, you begin to make choices about what you keep from where you came from, what you adopt from where you live now, and what you let go of altogether, and those choices slowly shape who you become.

This way of living also changes how you think about home. It stops being a default or something you inherit, and instead becomes something you actively choose through the relationships you build, the routines you establish, and the values you live by. You create your own reference points, your own traditions, and your own sense of belonging, often blending pieces from different places into something that feels right for you.

There is also an in between space that comes with living abroad, a feeling of not being fully from here or fully from there. At first, that space can feel uncomfortable or disorienting, but over time it often becomes familiar, and even grounding, as you learn to navigate life without needing a single, fixed identity.

Living abroad does not make you better or worse than anyone else, but it does offer perspective. It teaches flexibility, challenges assumptions, and forces you to be intentional about who you are becoming, rather than simply following a path that was laid out for you.

If you have lived abroad, or if life has taken you far from where you started, I would love to know what that experience has taught you.